The Family Thing

[diello]

My grand-mama once read me a story one night at my bedtime, and at the end of the story, she said "the end", and I said "will this end too?" And she asked me "will what end?" I gestured around me. "This". She looked at me really strangely and started reading the story over again. I knew right then that I had stumbled upon something.

I just recently had an awful argument with my roommate, whom I think of as a sister, just as she thinks of me as a sister, and we think of our other friend as our brother. And this argument, it was only a dream to her. She was asleep on the couch, and I guess when you've had a bad day at work, everything sounds like you're being yelled at in your sleep (even though I only asked her a question).

Even though I wasn't angry at her anymore, and she'd apologized, and ammends were made, it still made me think. Our family is falling apart. Slowly but surely, it is. Beanie and I have been together for far too long to remain sane with each other (as far as sanity goes in our family). We're fighting like this more and more. And Sean, our brother, has been lost to college and we never see him anymore. We all use to have so much fun together.

When I was still angry (before beanie apologized), I wanted to storm out of the apartment and find sanctuary with someone else I trusted, the way I use to when I needed someone there. And thinking about where I would go, made me realize that I had NOWHERE to go. I have nobody left that can just hug me for a little while whenever I neede it and tell me everything's going to be okay. Nobody I can just run to and stay with the whole night.

What happened to my world? Where did everybody go? I can't find anyone anymore. I'm lost. I'm alone. I need to make a new world so I can have a place to run to again.

Comments

[happymachines.livejournal.com]

i know i told you the story of when i first started at kinkos, i was asleep and dreaming at home, but still conscious. and i was dreaming that i was at work, and carolyn came in to talk to me, and i started yelling at her for bothering me at work. the moral is, it is permissable to yell at someone when you are asleep, cause you dont really know what youre saying, ms wouldnt-it-be-funny-if-evan-and-you-had-the-same-girlfriend.

also, stop being so melodramatic. its unseemly.