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Nightmares
Mar. 14th, 2016 12:40 pmI've been suffering nightmares again.
( Bedbug Fiasco, part 3, The Last of Them *two short paragraphs* )
Aside from generally experiencing phantom itches all the time, especially at night, I've started suffering nightmares again. I was sure it was completely related to the bugs, but as of last night, I'm not sure. The first dreams involved an infestation - my favourite sweater had them all over. I woke up only to see corner infestations, just swarms of red, pulsating heaps of bugs, just by closing my eyes.
Then I graduated to waking nightmares, which I do have often, when I'm really stressed. I had my first afternoon nightmare ever, at the end of a nap in which I thought I'd gotten no rest (which is why I decided to get up in the first place). When I looked at the wall, I saw a blurry mass about the size of a quarter on the wall next to me. I sat up and it started moving. I couldn't see legs; it was just... sliding up the wall like it was a b-movie monster bug being pulled by a string. My first thought was, maybe it's a house centipede, but it's round. My next thought was it was a group of bedbugs huddling en masse to bombard the bed. I immediately reached for my glasses to see it, but when I looked back, there was no sign of anything there. I looked down the gap between the bed and the wall, I looked on the pillows half hanging off the bed. Nothing. I was so freaked out! I grabbed the alcohol spray and started going nuts, emptying the whole bottle onto the pillows, sheets, blankets, wall, and floor. I was so scared, I couldn't get out of the bed. I was terrified of this nightmare bug! I didn't leave the bed until Charles came home and he convinced me it was just one of my waking nightmares.
I had another one last night, at about 2 or 3 in the morning.
This was different. I felt very paranoid about this one. It involved my lighter falling onto the pillows beside me. I had a huge mound of pillows, and the lighter was slowly slipping, threatening to fall off the edge of the bed. I started to grab it, when I realized I don't have this many pillows, and then it all disappeared. I freaked out about this, complete with a mental break where I cried and clawed at my hair, screaming that it's always the same dream, and that something is trying to get me to fall for it - something wants me to grab the lighter!
I woke up Charles during my freak-out and he wasn't very supportive about it, having had very little sleep lately. As I lay there trying to get back to sleep, I told him I had to tell my psychic mom about the bowl (I remember there was someone with a yellow bowl) because that's been in all of the dreams.
In the morning, I remembered everything, because I studied my memories of the dream as I fell back to sleep, so as to recall every important detail for my mom. But upon examining my memories of it, I have no fucking clue why I thought I always have that dream. I've never had that dream before, and I certainly have no clue why I would have a waking nightmare about a damn lighter falling off the bed.
It felt like Twin Peaks, in Fire Walk With Me, when Laura saw a dead girl talking next to her in bed, and she was calm, but saw a ring in the palm of her hand, and she flipped the fuck out!
I don't know what I'm so stressed about. Maybe Brian? Maybe the bugs? I've been diligently spraying around and on the bed several times a day for several days. And I had Brian over for a movie, and he got a little weird, but then things calmed down. We sat on the floor where the couch used to be. He had his bag which, last time I saw it, I had to spray the shit out of due to it being infested (though despite that, I hadn't gotten any new bites). Maybe it's a combination of both. Maybe I'm freaked out about my life and my goals spiraling away...
Who the damn hell knows.
( Bedbug Fiasco, part 3, The Last of Them *two short paragraphs* )
Aside from generally experiencing phantom itches all the time, especially at night, I've started suffering nightmares again. I was sure it was completely related to the bugs, but as of last night, I'm not sure. The first dreams involved an infestation - my favourite sweater had them all over. I woke up only to see corner infestations, just swarms of red, pulsating heaps of bugs, just by closing my eyes.
Then I graduated to waking nightmares, which I do have often, when I'm really stressed. I had my first afternoon nightmare ever, at the end of a nap in which I thought I'd gotten no rest (which is why I decided to get up in the first place). When I looked at the wall, I saw a blurry mass about the size of a quarter on the wall next to me. I sat up and it started moving. I couldn't see legs; it was just... sliding up the wall like it was a b-movie monster bug being pulled by a string. My first thought was, maybe it's a house centipede, but it's round. My next thought was it was a group of bedbugs huddling en masse to bombard the bed. I immediately reached for my glasses to see it, but when I looked back, there was no sign of anything there. I looked down the gap between the bed and the wall, I looked on the pillows half hanging off the bed. Nothing. I was so freaked out! I grabbed the alcohol spray and started going nuts, emptying the whole bottle onto the pillows, sheets, blankets, wall, and floor. I was so scared, I couldn't get out of the bed. I was terrified of this nightmare bug! I didn't leave the bed until Charles came home and he convinced me it was just one of my waking nightmares.
I had another one last night, at about 2 or 3 in the morning.
This was different. I felt very paranoid about this one. It involved my lighter falling onto the pillows beside me. I had a huge mound of pillows, and the lighter was slowly slipping, threatening to fall off the edge of the bed. I started to grab it, when I realized I don't have this many pillows, and then it all disappeared. I freaked out about this, complete with a mental break where I cried and clawed at my hair, screaming that it's always the same dream, and that something is trying to get me to fall for it - something wants me to grab the lighter!
I woke up Charles during my freak-out and he wasn't very supportive about it, having had very little sleep lately. As I lay there trying to get back to sleep, I told him I had to tell my psychic mom about the bowl (I remember there was someone with a yellow bowl) because that's been in all of the dreams.
In the morning, I remembered everything, because I studied my memories of the dream as I fell back to sleep, so as to recall every important detail for my mom. But upon examining my memories of it, I have no fucking clue why I thought I always have that dream. I've never had that dream before, and I certainly have no clue why I would have a waking nightmare about a damn lighter falling off the bed.
It felt like Twin Peaks, in Fire Walk With Me, when Laura saw a dead girl talking next to her in bed, and she was calm, but saw a ring in the palm of her hand, and she flipped the fuck out!
I don't know what I'm so stressed about. Maybe Brian? Maybe the bugs? I've been diligently spraying around and on the bed several times a day for several days. And I had Brian over for a movie, and he got a little weird, but then things calmed down. We sat on the floor where the couch used to be. He had his bag which, last time I saw it, I had to spray the shit out of due to it being infested (though despite that, I hadn't gotten any new bites). Maybe it's a combination of both. Maybe I'm freaked out about my life and my goals spiraling away...
Who the damn hell knows.
