Funny Stories

Meagan and I watched Serial Mom (probably my favourite John Waters movie) at the pub last night, and she talked about her brother coming to visit for a week. That got us talking about weird life stories, like how she thinks she was partially raised by a necromancer, or how I might be married due to walking into a strange set of customs that ended with a foreign old man kissing me on the mouth, or when my parents forgot me at a carnival...

But it all started with a text earlier in the day...

Meags: Wanna open a store called "Build a Boo?" Also, what's your opinion on grave robbing?"

Obviously, a joke, but then I replied in my goofiest old man text voice. Gather 'round for a mostly-true story, kids.

Me: I ever tell you about the time yer ol' unkie Fawndo went pickin' up hitchhikers in Sodus Point? There'd be my buddy Josh, Aaron, and me up front, and another feller in back... real smelly-like, and we'd get a hitchhiker, and they went on to makin' acquaintences, sometimes startin' with shakin' hands up the front, sometimes not, and when they'd get to the other guy in back, they'd get all fussy, screamin' and cryin' and jumpin' out the movin' ve-hicle, and we'd all just laugh and laugh... except the feller in the back, who just rotted away, cuz we'd picked him up at the cemetery from one of the coffins stickin' out the side of the ravine. That was one swell summer, it was. Never saw them boys again, though. Wonder what them rascals are up to these days... I heard tales one of those corpsey pals left maggots in the back seat.

Me: In short, I've never robbed a grave, but I have known some grave robbers in my youth.

Meags: You really need to write a book.