Jill Thompson rocks :)

El Oh El Ay Lola!

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cish: golly jeepers...
cash: flat broke of course.

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I wrote to Tom before I've heard a response from him. I know that breaks tradition, but I needed to write down my feelings to someone who would listen before the intensity washed away, which it did. I haven't sent the letter yet, but it's written and in an envelope.

It's kinda hard to believe I got all my feelings down on one piece of paper. It makes my insecurities seem so tiny. But I'm not over it. It's just not in my head today. Yesterday and three days ago, I could have written everything down, but I was far too overwhelmed. I don't want to be like that anymore.

I need help.

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My debts are crazy. I owe mum 500 dollars and Stacy 300, which will be easier to get than mum's. I owe Miss Emily 30, and I still have to collect my comics (but, as always, that can wait). On top of that, I need to put gas in my car and city-slick it around, distributing my resume.

And I need to find time for my friends. I miss them very much. Specifically Gene and Zach and my Rocky friends. I planned on going to Vertex tonight, in celebration of surviving another trip around the sun. Sadly, tonight snuck up on me. Work was cancelled, and I'm not making it to Vertex.

However, Kelly is taking me to see THE GRUDGE Sunday and I have invited Brian, and will be inviting Charles and A1. Anyone else want to go, can. But I don't know what theater we're going to. One thing I really want is to carve pumpkins. And have less debt. But I'll go for hugs and kisses ;)

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Black Daisies, otherwise known as Pam, is doing much better! She is almost awake. I'm still getting my info from David8mm who gets updates from Jason. You have no idea how grateful I am that David added me (along with everyone on Pam's friends list) because otherwise, I would never have known what happened to her!

Anyway, this is what Jason had to say (this is straight from David's journal):
get this, they eased up on her sedative enough that she is moving, and 'a little' awake. if you say her name, she tries to open her eyes. of course, she has no idea where she is, or what's going on.

i went in, and started talking to her. she opened her eyes a little, and started trying to say something. i calmed her down a bit, so she didn't exhaust herself trying to talk, but she furrowed her brow in confusion. i shhhh'ed her her to calm down and touched her cheek, and she went back to morphine land.

they didn't bother to hook her back up to dialysis cause her kidneys are way better, they also took some of the tubes out, and she's even breathing on her own. woot.

tommorow, they are going to ease up on her sedative so that she can wake up. but they expect her to be only 'slighty' awake. they are going to let me bring in a cd player, and some cds so she can listen to som tunes.

in a couple days, she'll be able to see visitors. but, she's on the road to recovery.

This is such great news. I'm going to be sending out her card very soon. I don't know if I should send it directly to the hospital or to her place. I'll probably send it to the hospital. I'm not sure if Pam lives alone or with Jason, so...

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I have been working on the web page on and off and have caught myself blogging on the news page. I have two new banners for your linking pleasure, and some new art and written works. I don't know what else to say in this post. I've worked on the webpage to keep my mind off everything that's been going on around me.

I've been told I did a remarkable job on the news article I wrote for the local paper. That's comforting. I had it online, but apparently, since I'm getting paid, I can't 'publish' it elsewhere. So crap.

On a lighter note, my stupid cat keeps puking. "If you want to be bullemic, start buying your own food."

I need more things to do to keep my mind off things. If I don't, I'll have to face grim reality.

but to be honest, I'm just not ready for the punchline.