diello | In memory of Josh (Reply)

I went to the local cemetery last night after I dropped Kelly off home. Today is Josh's birthday. He would be 24. And it was the first time I had a hard time finding his grave. I hadn't been there in about two years. If I had the money, I would have dined on two cheeseburgers and orange drink (with no ice) over his grave. He never ordered anything else, and everytime that order came over the speekers at mcdonalds, I knew it was him. But I had no money to get 'the usual,' so I had a good cry instead.

Josh Mason was my best guy friend in high school and the only salvation I had while working at mcdonalds. He also gave me my very first valentine, which, had I known way back in forth grade, I should have kept forever. I was always jealous of my other friends because they were better friends and closer to each other in their circle than I ever could have been, and I wanted more than anything to be that close to real friends. Josh and Tom are my examples. And they're both gone. At least Tom will be back someday. I have the confidence to not hold anything back like I did in high school.

I don't really feel like going into the details and circumstances of his death (some of you already know about it) but he died on my very last day of high school. I had just been talking to his sister about how I hadn't seen him in a while. And then I heard. And my world came crashing down. I had my first drink and his funeral and memorial parties brought all his friends closer. I don't want to talk about his funeral either, but I will say that I felt really alone until his friends came to comfort me and I realized they really were my friends too.

It's kinda sad to say, but that was when my life really began.