The Eyes Have It (parasites, that is)
My trip to the eye doctor left me pretty happy, although a couple hundred bucks poorer. Had the contacts exam, but got the glasses package (I can meander on getting contacts from them or from somewhere cheaper). My glasses will be totally cool. They're thick-framed, rectangles, and dark red, with glare reduction and transitions. I was pretty stoked to find that transition lenses were covered by my insurance.
While discussing the packages with the financial assistant, a 10-year-old boy plopped into the chair next to me to tell me he has a toy gun but it's plastic, and something about a toy car, and that he just got brand new glasses from this place, and broke them rough-housing with another boy at school. Back to business, we went over all the prices, and were all set. I put in a trial pair of contacts, and went back to the doctor to have him give them a once-over to see how they fit and all.
When I got in the hot seat, he said "I'm sorry you had to see that." I had no idea what he was talking about, but Charles filled me in and said the father of the kid got really loudly pissed off about them not replacing the kid's broken glasses because getting broken after only two days was clearly a manufacturer's defect (oh honey, no. No piece of resin/plastic is going to withstand the kind of rough-housing your kid described). He became very outraged and shouted that he would tell everyone not to shop here, turned around to Charles and another woman (both sitting in the waiting area) not to buy glasses here, and left. I didn't notice a thing! I was completely immersed in my own vision affairs, hahaha. Must not have been that horrific, though, as I can usually sense that kind of tension.
So back to the hot seat. The doc had me close my eyes so he could photograph my lids/lashes, and he had me sit back and talked like he was about to tell me I had cancer or something. Then said, "it's a bit gross" and I perked right up. "Are you talking about the crusties on my lashes?" I asked. "They've been there for about 6 or so months now." Jup! He said they're not just crusties, or buildup of oils (like scientists had thought until fairly recently).
The least gross way to say this is I have an overabundance of eyelash mites (everyone has them, that much I know. I have more, which is something that apparently happens). And the crusties that just don't seem to go away are waste buildup.
Shortest story: I have parasite shit on my eyes.
He suggested I get baby shampoo (no-tears) and have at it with that and hot water on a washcloth. And that I'm not going to really realize how in-poor-health it's making my eyes until I've been at it for a couple weeks and gotten rid of the buildup. I could have cried, but from happiness, because I can't wear makeup because of the lash bumps, and my eyes always feel super tired, even when I'm not. And I never would have known!